A Sirius Story
by Lupinfangirl
Summary: I'm finally done! Here's my West Side Story filk musical based on PoA. Enjoy and don't forget to review!
1. Cool

**Cool **(PoA, Chap. 2)

HARRY is in his room before the arrival of Aunt Marge.

HARRY (to himself): Boy, boy, Harry, boy

Keep cool, boy

Say that you go to St. Brutus'

Keep your temper, boy

If you make just one mistake

And let something slip

Uncle Vernon will not sign

The form for Hogsmeade

Show Aunt Marge that you're a normal

(But a criminal) boy

Do not listen to her insults

Keep your mouth shut, boy

Just think of your broomstick kit;

It will distract you

And keep it cool, boy

Real cool


	2. A Guy Like Black

**A Guy Like Black** (PoA, Chap. 4-5)

To the tune of _A Boy Like That/I Have a Love_

_Several characters express their thoughts on the escape of SIRIUS._

CHORUS OF MINISTRY WIZARDS:  
A guy like Black, who killed the Potters  
That Sirius Black is such a nutter  
He has escaped from Azkaban Prison!

FUDGE:  
He was the first one who succeeded  
To Harry Potter he now proceeded  
We've got to stop Black before he kills him!

_ARTHUR WEASLEY is talking to HARRY right before the Hogwarts Express leaves_.

ARTHUR:  
He has no mercy at all!  
Black is a mass murderer!  
He's known for killing thirteen people with one spell

HARRY:  
I don't care; I'm not afraid of him!

ARTHUR:  
He killed your parents, and we're aware  
He'll kill you, too. Harry, beware  
Just try to keep yourself out of danger  
Whatever you do, don't look for Black, don't look for Black…

HARRY:  
But, no, Mr. Weasley, no, Mr. Weasley, no  
I can't sit still just like that  
I've got to do something now!  
I hear your words and in my head I know they're smart  
But I must do something, but I must!

ARTHUR:  
But, Harry, please. You should know better  
You fought You-Know-Who and barely escaped  
You should know better…

_LUPIN is sitting in the empty train compartment of the Hogwarts Express and thinking about (who else?) SIRIUS._

LUPIN:  
Why did you do such a horrible thing?  
Sirius, I thought that I knew you  
You were my friend, my friend till the end  
But you betrayed Lily and James, and killed Peter,  
And now you'll kill Harry, too  
But I won't let you; I'll do the best I can  
To protect the last Potter alive  
After all, he is known as the boy who lived

ARTHUR and LUPIN (together, in different locations):  
Oh, Harry, be strong  
And stay where you belong  
In Hogwarts you're safe!


	3. Hippogriff Lesson

**Hippogriff Lesson** (PoA, Chap. 6)

To the tune of _Something's Coming_

_It is the first Care of Magical Creatures lesson. HAGRID, GRYFFINDORS, and SLYTHERINS are standing outside HAGRID's hut._

HAGRID:  
Hello, welcome  
Today I'm gonna teach you  
All about hippogriffs  
It'll be fun  
They may get dangerous when they're mad  
But if they're calm, then they are fine  
Now, class  
First you must open your books--

DRACO:  
But that's impossible  
They try to bite

HAGRID:  
That's nothing; all you gotta do  
Is stroke the books. Then they'll be tame

DRACO (to SLYTHERINS):  
This is dumb, this is bad  
This class is really sad  
Dangerous, too  
My father will not like this  
When I tell him what this oaf makes us do

HAGRID:  
Don't insult hippogriffs  
They are quite sensitive  
They will attack  
When you meet one, take a bow  
And then wait for a while till it bows back  
Its bow will count  
As a safe sign to mount  
And then you'll have a  
Great flight  
Who wants to volunteer?

_HARRY steps forward._

Harry, come on, over here  
And take a bow  
Beaky's bowing back to you,  
So you know he likes you  
Get on him now

_HARRY gets on Buckbeak, flies around on him, and then gets back down._

That was great, Harry  
Who'll try it next? Don't tarry  
Go on

DRACO (standing next to Buckbeak):  
If Potter can do this, then  
I most certainly can  
You don't scare me,  
Big ugly brute

_Buckbeak strikes DRACO, who lets out a bloodcurdling shriek_


	4. Snape Song

OK, maybe I should have done the whole Jets Song, but I was too lazy (lol). So, I only have one verse.

**Snape Song** (PoA, Chap. 9)

To the tune of_ Jets Song. SNAPE is substituting for LUPIN's Defense Against the Dark Arts class._

SNAPE:  
When I teach you, I'm your boss all the way  
You will listen to me, you will do as I say  
Open your books to page three ninety-four

HERMIONE:  
But we're not that far yet--

SNAPE:  
Ten points from Gryffindor!  
Professor Lupin is such a lousy teacher  
You can't even recognize a dangerous creature  
Such as a werewolf

PARVATI:  
But we told you that we're not up to that  
We were doing--

SNAPE:  
Shut up, girl, and don't make me mad!  
Now, turn to page three ninety-four!


	5. Hogwarts School

**Hogwarts School** (PoA, Chap. 10)

To the tune of _America._

_The Hogwarts teachers and students are assembled outside the school._

HARRY:  
Life with Muggles  
My favorite thing  
But sometimes it really stinks  
Always my uncle screaming  
Always the house I must be cleaning  
Of an escape I'm dreaming  
And their constant fear  
That a wizard lives there  
I'm glad I'm going to Hogwarts  
So I won't live among Muggles!

GRYFFINDORS: I like to be here in Hogwarts School  
Awesome for me here in Hogwarts School  
My friends with me here in Hogwarts School

DRACO(scornfully): Diversity here in Hogwarts School

HERMIONE: Learning at Hogwarts is so nice

CRABBE and GOYLE: Not if you take every class twice

HERMIONE: I'm taking ten subjects this year

CRABBE and GOYLE: We're taking five we failed last year

RON: Peeves is annoying in Hogwarts School

HARRY: Binns is so boring in Hogwarts School

FRED and GEORGE: Secret exploring in Hogwarts School

FILCH: Detentions growing in Hogwarts School

LUPIN: Being back at Hogwarts is such fun

SLYTHERINS (smirking): Your job is jinxed; soon you'll be gone

LUPIN: I'll teach DADA this year

GRYFFINDORS: Snape wants that job; Lupin, beware!

GINNY: Portraits all talk here in Hogwarts School

DEAN: Staircases walk here in Hogwarts School

NEVILLE: Snape at me gawks here in Hogwarts School

HARRY: Malfoy provokes me in Hogwarts School

RON: This year we can visit Hogsmeade

HARRY: I can't go without a signed slip

RON: We'll try to sneak you in somehow

HERMIONE: Black's searching for Harry right now

SEAMUS: Black's after Harry in Hogwarts School

PARVATI: Things are quite scary in Hogwarts School

HARRY: I must be wary in Hogwarts School

TRELAWNEY: Your future's dreary in Hogwarts School

DUMBLEDORE: Time for the start of the term feast

ALL: We're starving; food we can't resist

DUMBLEDORE: But first a few words I will speak  
Nitwit, blubber, oddment, and tweak!

_Everyone laughs and comes inside._


	6. My Firebolt

**My Firebolt**(PoA, Chap. 11)

To the tune of _Maria_

_On Christmas morning, HARRY is opening his presents and he sees the Firebolt. _

HARRY: A Firebolt

The most beautiful broom I've ever seen

A Firebolt

But who in the world could have sent it to me?

RON: But why should you care who sent it?

The main thing is you got a Firebolt

A Firebolt, a Firebolt, a Firebolt, a Firebolt…

HARRY: My Firebolt!

It's my very own precious Firebolt!

Could it be Dumbledore?

But why'd he send it to me for?

RON: Your Firebolt!

I bet Lupin sent you that Firebolt

HARRY: But it couldn't be him

Because Lupin is way too poor

My Firebolt!

On this broom I will soar through the sky

And when Malfoy will see me, he'll cry

_HARRY and RON laugh._

BOTH: A Firebolt

HARRY: It's my very own precious Firebolt

My Firebolt, etc.

On this broom I will soar through the sky

And when Malfoy will see me, he'll cry

My Firebolt

It's my very own precious Firebolt

The most beautiful broom I've ever seen

My Firebolt


	7. The Patronus Charm

**The Patronus Charm**

To the tune of _I Feel Pretty_

LUPIN and HARRY are practicing the Patronus Charm.

LUPIN: I'm teaching you

A useful spell

That spell is called the Patronus Charm

If you use it

The dementors will leave you unharmed

First say the words

The magic words

They go Expecto Patronum

Wave your wand then

And part of the magic will be done

Then prepare yourself for the harder part

Think of something very happy

If you concentrate really hard on that, they'll leave you alone, which means victory!

They try to suck

Good memories

And every happy thought out of you

But outsmarting dementors is what you'll do

_HARRY tries the Patronus Charm, but passes out._

HARRY: I thought of a nice, happy memory

The first time I got on a broom

I felt really light and so cheery

And my heart went on a journey to the moon

But it didn't work

And I still passed out

LUPIN: So try something else

You'll get it, no doubt

_HARRY tries again and still passes out._

HARRY: Last year when I won

The Gryffindor House Cup

That was really great

But still not enough

_HARRY tries again and manages to remain conscious and to get a silvery Patronus out of his wand._

HARRY: Now I got a thought even better

When I read my first Hogwarts letter

I got away from

The Dursleys for a year

That memory worked

My Patronus appeared!

LUPIN: Now you've mastered

This advanced spell

The spell that's called the Patronus Charm

HARRY: I will use it

And dementors will leave me unharmed

LUPIN: First say the words

The magic words

They go Expecto Patronum

Wave your wand then

And part of the magic will be done

HARRY: Then I must prepare for the harder part

Think of something very happy

If I concentrate really hard on that, they'll leave me alone, which means victory!

BOTH: They try to suck

Good memories

And every happy thought out of you

But outsmarting dementors is what you'll/I'll do!


	8. Tonight Reprise

**Tonight Reprise **(PoA, Chap. 17) 

_SIRIUS is standing by the Whomping Willow, after the execution of BUCKBEAK._

SIRIUS: I'm gonna get my revenge tonight

My old friend Peter will be dead tonight

I thought he was at Hogwarts and I was right

And now he's in Ron's pocket; I'll give him a fright!

He turns into a dog, grabs RON by the leg, and runs into the Whomping Willow. HARRY and HERMIONE run after him. Meanwhile, LUPIN is sitting in his office, examining the Marauders' Map…

LUPIN: Why is the dot with Peter here, in sight?

I thought that Sirius has killed him that night

And there's another dot there: Sirius Black

So, all along Peter was really Ron's rat

I'm there!

_He runs out of the office._

RON: Oh, guys, that Grim has really got me now

Trelawney was right all along; that Grim is definitely an omen of death

I'm bleeding so much; it's my end now

That Grim will surely finish me off…

Tonight!

PETER: Oh, rats, I'm really busted now, tonight

Oh, Sirius, don't kill me please, tonight

I've got to escape, but how?

And Sirius knows I'm guilty; he'll kill me right now!

Tonight!

Meanwhile, HAGRID is standing outside of his hut… 

HAGRID: Tonight, tonight my hippogriff has died

It was so sad to say goodbye

Tonight, tonight Macnair has arrived

He chopped off Beaky's head and he died

Today was our last day together

I thought that he'd be with me

Until the day I died

And now, because of stupid Malfoy, Beaky was killed…

ALL: Tonight!


	9. The Marauders' Reunion

**The Marauders' Reunion** (PoA, Chap. 19)

To the tune of _Gee, Officer Krupke _

_In the Shrieking Shack, SIRIUS and REMUS confront PETER after they force RON's rat to reveal itself._

REMUS:  
Good evening, old friend, Peter,  
It's so great to see you  
Let's talk about some rumors  
To find out if they're true  
Did Harry Potter's parents  
Get killed because of you?  
If that's true, then we will kill you, too

PETER:  
But how could I kill them if I didn't know  
Where they were? Sirius betrayed them twelve years ago

SIRIUS:  
And twelve years is how long  
You've been by Ron's side  
What a convenient way to hide!

PETER:  
I was scared!  
I was scared! I knew that  
I'd be next in line  
To be the victim of your next crime

REMUS:  
Oh Peter, stop pretending  
That you're the victim here  
You were the Secret Keeper  
To me that's crystal-clear  
And then you went ahead and  
You said to Voldemort-

PETER:  
Please don't say the name of the Dark Lord!

SIRIUS:  
What's wrong, are you scared to hear your master's name?  
Well, after all, when he's in power, you'll be to blame  
You'll die now the way they say you died that night

PETER:  
But, Sirius, this isn't right! Listen, please  
How could you escape from Azkaban without having Dark Powers close at hand?

SIRIUS:  
I didn't need Dark powers  
I had another plan  
I turned right into Padfoot  
And fled from Azkaban  
I watched you hiding from me  
You filthy, stinky rrrrrrrrrrat!

REMUS (to SIRIUS):  
It's so great that you discovered that!

SIRIUS and REMUS:  
You shouldn't have listened to your Voldemort

PETER:  
But you two don't realize the power of the Dark Lord.  
He threatened to kill me, so I had no choice

SIRIUS:  
Peter, you always have a choice!  
You should have died rather than betrayed your friends  
But you didn't act in our defense

PETER (to SIRIUS):  
Oh, Sirius I'm so sorry

SIRIUS:  
Don't touch me, filthy rrrrrrrat.

PETER (to REMUS):  
Oh, Remus, please forgive me.

REMUS:  
Don't even think of that!

PETER (to RON):  
But wasn't I a good pet? At least you can spare me!

RON:  
You slept in my bed; get away from me!

REMUS and SIRIUS:  
Well, Peter, old pal, it's been nice knowing you  
But everything ends sometime and this friendship will, too  
We won't spare your life now, so don't even try  
Our hearts won't be softened  
Goodbye!

HARRY (spoken): NO!

_Sirius says "rrrrrat" because in the movie, Gary Oldman rolls his r's when he says to Peter, "You rrrrrat!" and when he says to Snape, "Rrrrrrremus and I have some unfinished business"._


	10. A New Life

**A New Life** (PoA, Chap. 20)

To the tune of _Somewhere_

_After the Whomping Willow confrontation, SIRIUS, HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, LUPIN, PETER, and SNAPE are going to Hogwarts and SIRIUS and HARRY are walking next to each other._

SIRIUS:  
I'm so proud of you  
And James would be, too  
You are truly your father's son  
Even though he's gone  
And maybe if you want  
To have a different home  
I'm your godfather; when I'm free  
You can come and live with me

HARRY:  
Of course I will  
I won't see the Dursleys again  
I'll just say goodbye to them  
And move in with you

SIRIUS and HARRY:  
We'll start a new life  
With no more pain and strife  
Peter will just be a nightmare  
I can't wait until we get there  
Just one moment and we're there…

_As they finish singing, the full moon comes out from behind the clouds and LUPIN begins to transform into a werewolf._


	11. Three Turns

**Three Turns** (PoA, Chap. 21)

To the tune of _One Hand, One Heart_

_HERMIONE and HARRY are trying to convince DUMBLEDORE that SIRIUS is innocent and PETER is the real criminal._

DUMBLEDORE:  
Make just three turns, go on  
Three turns shall do, go on  
All that you need is more time  
To save Black, you'll need more time

HERMIONE:  
Messing with time's a risk  
But we must take that risk  
To save a man from a fate  
Which he now sits and awaits  
But let's hurry or we'll be late

_DUMBLEDORE leaves and HERMIONE takes out the Time-Turner and slips it around her own and Harry's necks._


	12. Goodbye, Lupin

**Goodbye, Lupin** (PoA, Chap. 22)

To the tune of _Tonight_

_It is the morning after SIRIUS escapes with Buckbeak and avoids the Dementor's Kiss. Everyone is having breakfast in the Great Hall, except for SNAPE, who is out in the hallway by himself. _

SNAPE:  
How unfair; I cannot believe this pure injustice  
Black escaped, even though he should have gotten the Kiss and been sent back to prison  
The Marauders have fooled me again  
Now I can't get the Order of Merlin  
Merlin, help me  
If I wasn't able to recapture Black, I'll harm someone else instead  
Look out, Lupin, because here I come!

_He storms into the Great Hall._

Good morning, Lupin, how are you today?  
I think you must be tired from last night  
I would be, too, if I were a werewolf  
Running round, biting all that's in sight  
Yes, all you students heard me right now  
Your teacher is a werewolf  
Look out, 'cause he might bite  
This year you thought that he was ill each month,  
Now you know he lied!

_Later, the GRYFFINDORS are sitting in the Common Room..._

GRYFFINDORS:  
This is so sad; he was the best we had  
Why does Professor Lupin have to leave?  
Our class was fun 'cause he was number one  
And now Snape is our biggest pet peeve  
Maybe next year we'll get a vampire,  
A centaur, or a goblin,  
But it won't be the same  
So, Dumbledore should fire Snape straightaway  
Because he's to blame!

_Meanwhile, SNAPE is sitting in his office..._

SNAPE:  
I feel so fine  
Because Lupin resigned  
And revenge is mine

A/N: Well, that's all there is. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this musical as much as I enjoyed filking it. Thanks to **The Stump **and **marigold **(who actually know how to review stories properly)for your reviews.

As for **Flame**, here's what I have to say: Get a life. If you don't like my musical and think it's OOC, there's a little thing called _constructive criticism_, where you say your opinion nicely and explain _why _you think the story is OOC, instead of just throwing insults at me. That is, if you actually have any complaints and aren't just a jerk who has nothing better to do than **flame** other people's work for no reason. If the first thing applies to you, give reasons and if the second thing applies, go find a better hobby.


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